I really need a break

stressed out to the max. had a couple mental breakdowns..>.<

can't wait till I am done with this exam and then go on vacation. I really need a breakkkk....

Acceptance

So I've been getting these random panic attacks. There's still about 3 weeks left till I hear from the three universities about my application. It is definitely an exciting period because I really want to know what the Lord has in store for me. Yes, I really want to get into SLP but I know my marks aren't competitive enough. So I am prepared to get the rejection letters. I've always wanted to go to Korea to teach ESL, but should I really spend one year there? Am I even ready to leave my home?

Honestly, I live my life based on opportunities. To me, it sounds kinda bad cuz it sounds like I am not ambitious and that I don't know what I want. But I am ambitious and I know exactly what I want and that is to get a good job, settle down and go from there. But sometimes I feel like I am not going anywhere. And that's when my frustration comes in....

ahhh. I really need to be patient and remember what the Lord has given me in the past.

The Armor of God

¹⁰ Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. ¹³ Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. ¹⁴ Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, ¹⁵ and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. ¹⁶ In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ¹⁷ Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. ¹⁹ Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, ²⁰ for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

This is definitely my favourite passage in the Bible. I still remember when I first learned about it way back in FAITH fellowship at my old church. E. asked all of us to draw and cut out the different types of clothing/equipments. I am SO glad that he made us do it because it really helps with retaining and recalling the message. Every time when I read this passage I would be reminded of what I did, and every time when I face spiritual battle, I would always think of this passage.

Sidenote: Both Dalhousie and ORPAS confirmed my application. They have received all my required and supplemental documents. This means that the waiting period starts NOW.

What's up with Priscilla?

It's really been awhile since I last updated in detail. I haven't really been great at keeping in touch with people because I've just been really busy with school, studying and all that jazz. But don't worry, I haven't forgotten you. I am gonna be social again.... haha. Anyway, I have meant to write a long entry about what God has been doing in my life for the past months, but I just needed some time to gather my thoughts and jot everything down. My "life in review" isn't all that interesting, so please treat this as a disclaimer....haha

Christmas 2010

This past Christmas holiday was one of the worst Christmas breaks I've ever had because I had to prepare for an exam that I had to write at the beginning of January. I had to limit my time with friends because of my studying schedule and it sucked big time. It sucked even more knowing that the final exam was closed book and that I had to memorize the entire textbook. Psych isn't really my thing; I like learning about it but I usually do horrible on tests/exams so that's why I needed to maximize my time for it. But anyway, it is done now! Thanks for all your prayers! The exam went really well =D=D

Despite spending a lot of my vacation time facing the textbook, I spent A LOT of time with my family (which is always awesome). And I also spent a bit of time with the roomie, which is kinda rare considering we're always SO busy during school months and holidays. It is really good that we got to talk to each other face-2-face, rather than just talking on msn and phone. It is really different. I am just glad that we got to catch-up =)

High school reunion 2010

Speaking of Christmas, one of the highlights of this holiday was going to our RHSS annual Christmas party. I don't know, but it felt really different this year. I went each year except one, but I gotta say that this year was one of the best?? I mean, past years have been really good, but this year it was really different. I am not sure if it was just the people (which would not make sense considering we had the same people last year just a smaller number this year), or a change of location or something, but it felt very home-y. It really brought back a lot of memories! I am guessing it is the lack of people that made it really good; I mean, these were the bunch of friends whom I suffered high school with, whom I ate lunch with, whom I played sandman (ohh memories!) with, whom I did a whole bunch of things with... so it was great just seeing them again and catch up. I guess with the lack of people we really got to talk and share in a circle and did alot of stuff together (like playing the piano, singing and taking a group photo), rather than splitting into tiny groups the entire night. There were certainly other people that I wanted to see who didn't come so hopefully I will be able to see them sometime this year! =D

Year in Review 2010

New Year's Resolution

At the end of 2009, my new year's resolution was to be able to hold my tongue (Proverbs 10:19). It was VERY hard for me to do because I can be blunt and rude at times. There were days when I just couldn't hold it in because I was just SO angry at the person ....and I usually feel ashamed afterwards. There were definitely improvements from year 2008 though, but I still need to learn. So for this year, the only resolution that I have is to do better - to do better than last year.

In General

In general, year 2010 just wasn't that good due to many factors. The only thing that was "happy" was maybe my graduation...or the family cruise(it was really fun!). Hopefully 2011 will be better....

School

In terms of school, I completed the two courses at Mac. whoohoo! One of things I hate about Mac is that they tend to always give me a heart attack! I wrote my exam a couple days before the break and then a week later, it said that I had failed the course (like literally F) on my transcript!!!!! Now I know this is ridiculous because I know I didn't fail the exam since all the marks were posted on the website; but what really made me upset was that it could affect the whole SLP application since I was in the middle of writing it. Many thoughts came into my head because the fail grade was cutting it really close and no one could do anything about it till AFTER the Christmas break.... ahhhh... It happened to my before for my other course too and it took them ONE WHOLE MONTH to change that stupid grade. But everything got sorted out in the end, and the mark was changed. Praise God.

SLP

Applications have been sent out. Now I just have to wait and see. I won't know the result till April. I have thoroughly thought over this issue of going into SLP. I would be super delighted if any of the schools accept me (considering they only accept a limited number of people each year) but I would still be happy if they reject me. I don't exactly know what I'll be doing if I don't get in....perhaps this is the year that I finally get to go to KOREA?! I dont know. I've been wanting to teach in Korea for the longest time but every time when I had the chance to apply, something would always come up. So ya, I am kinda excited to see what the Lord has in store for me this year. But in the meantime, I'll just be home-schooling.......ohh...

Honestly, it would be great if I could step away from the academic industry (HAHAHA) and start working, but... two extra years of schooling could get me a better job. Then again, that would mean that when I graduate, I'd be 25 years OLD! sooo ya.. I'll just have to follow what God wants me to do with my life =) Please pray for direction....

Prayer Request

lots to study + bored of studying + lack of sleep = one grumpy Priscilla

Please pray for my 2 exams.....

Linguistics - Living with WS

Here is a great article about Williams Syndrome. It is incredible how a missing gene can make someone so advanced in their language skills.

Busy Week

I kinda like this weather. Even though it is cold, I just LOVE sitting indoors with a cup of hot coffee working on my assignments.

But what a busy week I have this week:

Monday - school from 8:30-4pm
Tuesday - all day at Brock to talk to profs and clicians and meet up with old classmates
Wednesday - school and work
Thursday - stay home/at the library? ALL day working on assignments
Friday - school and work time
Weekend - school work.

Lots to do!! Need to really use my time wisely.

Random

wow. can't believe I just did homework for 10 hours straight.

My prof said the assignment should take about 1 hour, but it took me about 4 hours. -_-''

my butt is really sore right now.

There's still so much to be done. -_-


weeeeeee.

Drop

I just dropped the neuroscience course and it feels like 1000 tonne just lifted off my shoulders. yay!

I went to the first lecture on Monday and I hated it. The prof was speaking English but I had no idea what he was talking about. He talked WAYYYYYY TOO fast and half the time he was mumbling! I actually just checked the first assignment online and I had NO idea how to do it....let alone do well in it.

Thank God I only need this course for UBC. UBC offers this course online this January anyway... soo everything's good. God is good!

Thanks to those who prayed for me.

Man, I feel SO GOOD RIGHT NOW. Time for some icecream!

Back to school

I am back at Mac this year taking 3 courses. I am also taking 4 online courses concurrently with Athabasca University. It is definitely gonna be a busybusy term. I don't know how I am going to handle 7 courses. But I'll try.

What Pastor Adrian talked about yesterday was really helpful and encouraging. I panicked alittle when I realized that I had to take 7 courses this term, but I should not worry because God always provides. I should always remember God's goodness in my life and what He has done for me in the past. I shouldn't expect too much of God or myself. It is good to set high standards, but I know that I also need to be realistic. It is definitely impossible for me to finish 7 courses in 4 months, but it is okay, I am just going to take it one step at a time.

Patience

I really need to learn to be patient. Waiting is the key to success... but how can I do that if time is my enemy??

These month has been really difficult. =( my supervisor has been giving me a hard time. Mac and Brock have been really stupid.... blah....


breathe in breathe out....

What's happening with Priscilla?

I am back! It's definitely been awhile since I last wrote here. It is actually kinda funny how many people still read my blog despite this mini-hiatus (Just a heads up though, my life isn't all that interesting so I don't think you'll find any anything entertaining here).

For the past two months, I have been doing ALOT things. I don't really recall what I did exactly besides the big events, but it felt like I was in my own little world and time just flew right by....

I have been schooling, working on my research paper and the online course. The research paper is coming along nicely, and I hope I can do a decent job on it. I really underestimated this paper a couple months ago because I didn't think it would take this long for me to write it, but it has taken up ALOT of my time, practically day and night reading articles after articles, trying to find sources to add to my argument. The first draft was a big failure because I didn't put enough effort into it and it was no surprise that my supervisor didn't like what I wrote. So for the past couple weeks, I've just been critiquing, analyzing, revising and editing my paper. I really hope my supervisor will approve my second draft. Everything is going by so quickly and I just wish I had the power to stop time. eeks...

A lot of unnecessary things happened to me lately. Sometimes I just don't understand why God put such things in my life..... experiences maybe? don't know. Only God knows. I got into a car accident two weeks ago in Toronto. While I was stopped at a red light, the car behind me rear-ended me. I didn't know what to do at the time but call my dad (it was my first time getting into a car accident) and it didn't help that the guy couldn't speak any English or Cantonese. Not gonna go into details, but it was also a really tough situation because I really wanted to show mercy but I wasn't sure if what I did was the right thing to do. It really bothered me that the guy had so many problems, but at the same time, I knew that was the only way to do it to minimize his mistake. It was definitely a big mistake on my part when I forgot to pray and ask for wisdom right when the accident happened cuz I was too "caught up in the moment". I panicked and I was even more scared when his two friends came and started smoking around me (though I tried to show a tough face when I started talking to them in Canto). Things got complicated and it took awhile for things to resolve. But in the end, i guess it was a great experience, cuz at least I know what to do now when I get into car accidents.

There's also a problem with school for this September. I have been wanting to go back to Mac for a long time now to just complete some courses . But the problem is that the two linguistic courses are FULL, which means there's a BIG chance that I won't be able to apply to SLP this January, which also means that my life is messed? I got REALLY upset at Mac for not putting me as first priority. I didn't even think about other universities (which is REALLY stupid of me!) cuz I only had eyes for Mac. I know it isn't their fault and I got REALLY mad/upset/frustrated for stupid reasons. Things got alot better after talking with my parents and praying and right now, I am just waiting for an email from Mac. I REALLY hope they'll provide a space for me....

It is very hard to not think negatively towards things when stuff don't go accordingly, but I shall not be shaken. I shall not be moved. I will continue to seek the Lord for direction.

Quick Update

I have really been keeping myself busy this summer. Prior to April, I was a bit worried that I wouldn't have anything to do other than the research thing and so I started finding stuff to do. But now, I think I am really overwhelmed by a lot of stuff. I am having loads of fun though! and time is moving alot faster!

I have been:

• swimming daily. 1-1.5K. It is really tiring. I am super out of shape and it doesn't help when swimmers around you can swim the butterfly. Someone please help me with my strokes, I don't think I am doing them properly.
• observing and finding volunteer positions. God's been faithful so I have been going to places
• school work! this major research paper is killing me. I have been putting off this thing for 8 days now...not good. I have also started this online course thing and it is taking alot of my time. But I hope that it will be useful in my future career
• Just doing things here and there.... fun stuff! =)
• thinking about going on vacation sometime this year....

There's alot more stuff going on in June, July and August! and I can't wait for things to unfold!

I really need to spend more time with friends.......relationships break apart when there's a lack of communication/interaction....scary =S

Praise Items

Counting my blessings:

• I did well on my last reading essay. I have been quite worried about the essay portion of the course. The funny thing about this essay was the writing process. My topic was motivation, but I was definitely NOT motivated when I wrote it. I felt almost hypocritical because I kept writing about how students needed to be motivated to be successful blahblahblah, but I was just not feeling it.
• 2 SLPs have said yes to taking me for a day or two. I just need to go back to sauga as fast as possible to talk to them about volunteer work. PRAISE THE LORD. I have been praying about this for a longggg time now. whoohoo!
• Finished TA-ing for the year. It was tough but I got through it. It was a great experience. Hopefully I can go back to work in September.
• God gave me a great plan. I don't know. I'll just follow.

Final stretch

Another 2.5 weeks in St. Catharines and then it is home forever!!

Weekend was okay. Did alot of paper writing and procrastinating.

Cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Trip

Not sure if it is because I have soo much work for the month of March or something else, but I am just feeling so stressed and overwhelmed at this moment. Tonight I told my parents that I really want to go on a trip after I hand in my major research paper. I hope to finish writing by the beginning of July, make revisions by the middle of July and get it bound by the end of July... so I can go away for the month of August.

I am just really mentally drained by TA-ship and all these courses.

Where should I go?

Australia?
Hong Kong?
Vancouver?
Japan?
or maybe it is time I go to Korea and never come back...hehe.


I told my parents that I want to travel alone, but they really want to go with me...=.=

Reading Week 2010

eeeeks, this reading week is gonna be quite suckie cuz I got lots to do. So much school work that it is demotivating me to do them. Someone give me some inspiration.

I have been quite tired lately. Not sure if it is because I don't have enough sleep or if I am going through a coffee withdrawal. I usually get some sort of coffee every morning at school, but ever since I left St. Catharines for reading week, I haven't drank anything with caffeine in it. uhh.... zZZzzzZZzz I am yawning as I type this and it is only 7:21pm.

I can't wait to hang out with friends from Thursday to Sunday.

I need to focus.


There is no point to this post.

Second Chances

wow. so my mistake. I think the Lord is making me learn from my mistakes because I have to substitute for a TA friend tomorrow. There will be 234902384 students coming to see me tomorrow about a really confusing topic.

I thank God for second chances. I pray that I won't screw up tomorrow. I have been going on a mistake streak lately..... uhh, this is NOT good.


Prayers needed.

TA-ship

Being a TA is really fun but at the same time, stressful and nerve-wrecking.

When you say the wrong thing that is different from the other TAs, you get blamed by students because you said the wrong thing.

I am scared because I said the wrong information to a student who isn't from my seminar/tutorial and my TA friend is not too happy about it cuz I made a mistake.


oh man, I made a really big mistake and I don't know how I am going to resolve it.


Please pray for me.

Blessed??

I've just felt really blessed recently. I know I am not the smartest person in class or even the most fluent speaker, but each group presentation that I have done have been REALLY well done. But sometimes I do feel that I don't deserve this reward because I don't think I have put enough effort into the projects. Getting an A is not an easy task and it usually takes me weeks to prepare if I am working by myself. But now it seems that I am not even working hard and I still get good grades in presentations. It is just me? or is it because we have 3 people in the group hence each person doesn't have to do too much? I sometimes feel really guilty that I am not putting in my all. I don't know... perhaps I just feel like I am not up to the level of intelligence as my classmates.


Prayers needed.