March Made in Heaven

I know it isn't exactly March yet, but I am really looking forward to it. I can't wait for it to start and I can't wait for it to end. Most of it is because I have decided to dedicate this month for something special - which is to be completely stress-free. I am not even going to say "attempt" because I know I won't do it properly. If you know me well, I am a really stressful (?) person. I tend to make everything super complicated, to a point where I would stress myself out physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically. I mean, the result will still end up the same whether I make myself stressful or not so what's the point. The point is that I want everything to be perfect. There's no room for imperfection and there's certainly no room for failures. You do it and you better do it well or else....

I guess I have really gone too far with this stressfulness(?) because I have been really burnt out in February and I don't think it is healthy. I wake up to the thought of school; I go to bed with the thought of school and sometimes I even dream about school and how that's going to affect/ruin my future. The thing is, this shows my weakness in trusting in the Lord. I always forget to let go and leave it to God.

So for Lent this year - not that I was ever into it because I don't agree with people giving up candy, chocolate, smoking, etc just for the sake of doing it and then going back to their old ways after Easter and I've always treated this as a Catholic event) - but I have decided to do it because I want to change. I have decided to give up stress. This means if I am not finished with my work by today or have not done the work well enough according to "my" standards, then I am just gonna leave it and look at the positives. Who cares if I don't get an A+ on this assignment, I am still going to heaven aren't I? The Lord isn't going to care what grade I get, it is my effort and thoughts that count.

Yes I know, it is practically impossible for me to do this cuz it is going from one extreme to another, but I am quite the radical person) so I'm going to challenge myself to this. I know I will stumble at times, but I know the Lord will nudge me and I will remember to stay focused. So to all my devoted readers out there, please keep me in your prayers and I ask that you keep me accountable to this.

I really can't wait till the first of April. It is going to be one important day because that's when school/program acceptances come out; but most importantly, what I am really looking forward to is how different my life is when I completely leave my stress to the Lord.

May March be the primer to a stress-free life!

Blah

really pushing myself this week. push push push....