If you were to ask any one of my friends what my dreams are, they'd probably say that it is my intense desire to go to Korea. Ever since a family friend introduced korean dramas to me and another friend leaving Canada to teach English there, I've become quite fascinated by it. I love everything about the country - from its roots to their cuisine to their people. I've even longed to teach English in Korea some day; in fact, I think I've been praying about this matter for 10 years now.
For the past 10 years, I have dreamt about what my life would be like when I actually teach in Korea: what type of apartment I want to live, the school that I want to teach at, the people that I will be hanging out with, the foods that I will eat, the things that I am going to do. I practically got my Korean life all planned out, but how come I am not there?!?!?!
The thing is, every time I plan on going to Korea something happens. My initial plan was to go there to teach ESL upon my undergrad graduation. But nope, that plan failed because I got accepted into both B.Ed schools and Masters program and I decided to do my Masters. Yes I know that I could have rejected both offers and just followed my dreams and leave the country, but education is SUPER important to me and I know it isn't everyday that I can pursue a masters. Once it is gone, it is gone. My second plan was to teach ESL after grad school (it was only a 12 month program after all), but the Lord strongly told me to not apply for the teaching ESL position that year. It was weird to a point where I felt really nervous/scared about applying. At that time, I also found out that I was not really qualified to teach (that is, if I wanted to save money or make enough to bring home). My previous ESL certificate was not recognizable because it was not from an accredited school. I also did not apply to teacher's college that year so basically I had no job. Surprisingly, a family friend started a business and asked me to help test it out for her and that's what I did for 6 months while I had NO direction in life. During this working experience, I somehow decided to get a TESL ONTARIO license and luckily found a program that only took 4 months to complete, and so my next plan was to enroll in the program and leave for Korea right after. That plan somehow failed as well because now that I have a license I need to think about my future AFTER going to korea. Part of me just wanted to get all my education done before I leave and so I decided to apply for teacher's college again hoping to get a B.ed so that when I come back from Korea after 2 years I could be ready to teach in public school boards. Naturally, my next plan was that if I didn't get into any of the schools, I would just go straight to Korea; but then again, the Lord has been gracious to me and I got into OISE. Yes I am happy that I got in, but at the same time sad that I have to continue to put my desire for Korea on hold. What's even more interesting was that I was given an opportunity to go to Korea in late August of this year to do a quiz on Korean TV, but that required me to do an online quiz for qualifications. I had my hopes up for this because even if I was not teaching ESL there I could at least go for vacation! But nope, when the date arrived I realized that I had planned a Montreal meeting with my friends on that very day at that particular time. At that moment I became completely disappointed and mad at myself for forgetting and I didn't have the courage to cancel the meeting because I was afraid my friends would hate me for it. So that plan completely backfired.
It sucks to play the waiting game. I have been playing it for 10 years and sometimes I just get so angry for not being able to go. I constantly question the Lord why there's always something preventing me from going and why He doesn't let me go. I've obeyed Him to not apply and I just get so fed up by it. I JUST WANNA TEACH IN KOREA!!!!!
So my plan right now is to go in September 2013 - after getting my B.ed. In the meantime, I am just going to continue waiting and praying...*sigh*
How many more years do I still need to wait in order to fulfill this life-long dream?!
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