Somehow

I have to admit, I am quite a time conscious person. I need know what I need to be doing every minute of the day and I get quite anxious when I just sit around not knowing what I should be doing. I always make sure things happen at that scheduled time. I REALLY HATE wasting precious time! But don't get me wrong, I DO procrastinate - but my procrastination has some sort of purpose, whether it be resting from working on a long project or just a way to clear my mind for awhile.

But reality is, things NEVER happen the way I've intended for it to go. I originally planned to go to Korea after my 4 years of undergrad, and now it's been way past my graduation and I am still not there. I planned to be done with school and start working by age 24, and I am still not there. I planned to be married by age 25 and have kids before 30, but I don't think it is happening anytime soon. So ya, things are not working out the way I've wanted it to go and I definitely have broken down numerous times because I felt like my life is plateauing and not moving anywhere.

But recently, particular the month of March when I gave up stress for Lent and careless about following schedule, did I realize that God IS REALLY AT WORK! I was stressed in February about finding a practicum location and finishing on time, and then all of a sudden I was SOMEHOW given a teaching location. I meaninglessly brought my laptop to school one day and was able to immediately send an email to my practicum supervisor to reserve a spot....beating everyone else! It was the ONLY day that I actually decided to bring my laptop for no reason. I SOMEHOW also ended up sitting in front of a friend in class on the first day of school and then SOMEHOW ended being teaching partners with her. We became really good friends ever since. I SOMEHOW also got an additional 10 hours teaching at the school. I SOMEHOW got a couple more teaching offers along the way (and I was stressed out about not having enough hours to graduate). I SOMEHOW had a dinner with a friend and learned more things about his life which has a significant effect on the future. I SOMEHOW saw an old friend at a David Choi concert. I SOMEHOW was able to meet David Choi outside in the cold (I was 2nd in line!!) and took a photo with him. I SOMEHOW, I SOMEHOW... so all these SOMEHOWs, are they a coincidence? definitely not. My God is always looking out for me but I just didn't really acknowledge it.

I don't really know where I am going with this post, but I just wanted to share with y'all how faithless I have been. The Lord has HIS own timing and He will provide me with the right thing at the right time. yes, I will be super sad when things don't end up the way I like it, but I know it is for my own good. So ya, as the results for my future will be revealed in a couple of hours (eek!!), may I accept what HE gives me and not complain. Yes, I am VERY anxious (I have literally been counting the days) but all I can do is walk His path with whatever He gives me. I really need to learn...so please pray for me on this issue.

So ya, it is okay if things don't go according to my schedule, I just need to REMEMBER that GREAT things happen at the BEST timing. I gotta wait....wait....for things to happen at the right time....